Monday 19th October

Today felt like a Friday, both Tiffany and I are just exhausted with the moving, trying to juggle the workcrew so the contract work gets done, with the need to have all the plants moved out of the nursery and taken to Ranandi. We still have the shelter shed to be taken down, it was meant to have been lifted off last week, but as is the case here, the crane never arrived to lift the roof, then the day got put off, and now it looks like we’ll have to strip the iron off, and dismantle it all completely.

Then the container never arrived at Ranandi on Saturday, so our hope of getting the office stuff moved didn’t happen, the best day so far is tomorrow morning, at 9.30, a time and day I’ll believe only after it happens. Add in the truck back in the garage, again, or is it just once more, I’ve lost count of how many weeks it has been back and forth now, and still not fixed. I touched the brakes going in this morning, and the front left wheel locked up and pulled the truck sideways on the dirt at the bottom of my road where it meets Mendana Ave. Luckily it was facing the way I was going so it was a matter of driving off and not looking back. And being 6.30am there were very few cars on the main road.

By the time we had an email from Keithie getting all upset over the USP Course I sent Tiffany on, both of us had had enough. Tiffany sent an email back to Keithie telling her that if she didn’t like what we had to do while Keithie was away for 6 weeks in Europe then Tiffany was leaving, thank you for the position but it isn’t worth it, goodbye.

That pulled the pin on that powder keg, the next email was a bit more conciliatory. It all goes back to what I first noticed when I arrived here, and the remnants of the old Colonial days, when the natives were cute lovely little brown people, but you had to have a white person in charge. Tiffany is probably overqualified for the position she has with SEB, well, SEB is beneath her capabilities is a better way of putting it, but as far as Keithie is concerned she’s just another little brown person who will never amount to anything, and has to have someone in charge. I know I sound really jaundiced, it’s been that sort of period lately for us.

Anyway, I got my VSA report finished, or as much as I could without getting too involved, all the right boxes ticked, the right words written, the usual platitudes put in the right place. I know Steve won’t like it, but he has my seperate report to send as well, which really expresses how I feel. The official form has no place for the sort of stuff that happens here, or anywhere to even write it. Ok, it does say to put stuff on a seperate sheet if it isn’t covered, which I basically did with the 6 pages of personal observations.

And all through this, the work crew turn up every morning, smiling, happy, and work all day no matter what we have for them to do. And take pride in what they do. Steve told me while we down at Komunimboko that David is quietly happy I’m there. Steve does check on what I’m doing, I know I give him a fair bit of stick at times, but he does work extremely hard for VSA. Anyway, David said I’m the first advisor who has stood up to Keithie, and defended the workcrew over anything, let alone all the stuff that’s happened this year. It’s easy to support the work crew though, they work their butts off, in all weather, do a really good neat tidy job, and always look happy doing it.

So I goofed off for most of the day, Tiffany and I were coming up with ideas at times, and with our desks being crammed together now, it was easy for both of us to just toss ideas around whenever we felt like it.

Thanks Zoe for helping pass the long interminable stretch from midday till 4.30 on skype. And for the really off beat conversation we got into.

We will probably move into the BJS office this week for a while , not that it is something we want to do, right next door to Keithies office, but I can always vanish out to Ranandi and talk to the plants.

I know it is all making me depressed, my camera has barely been out for ages, which for me is a sure sign I’ve given up. So it’s back to the self motivation and force myself to start with the camera again. Same as I did in Ireland, I might have just wanted to stay in the flat, but I’d drive for miles each weekend, just to take photos of some obscure little place, or not so obscure like the pics I got for Marye of Ballyjamesduff. And all the dolemns, circles, tombs everywhere.

It’s 5.30am Tuesday, just looked back over this, sorry for the wallowing in despair anguish. I get frustrated with things here, and knowing that most of it won’t change, and having to try and work around all the inefficiencies, the tribal customs that really don’t work in a city but you have to adapt to them, and the overall failure of everything it becomes emotionally exhausting. Still, change what you can, accept what you can’t change, and work with what you’ve got.

At least I’m back to the early morning brisk walk into work for another week or so. Coolest part of the day so it is really pleasant walking through town.